How men can make sexual harassment unacceptable

Everyone knew. But no one said anything.

That seems to be the party line whenever sexually predatory behavior becomes public. Now in the wake of three recent high-profile cases – Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes and now Harvey Weinstein – there is much outrage about the men’s assaults of women but there are few answers about prevention.

You can complain to HR, where complaints go to die. As they did at Fox News. Or you can talk about for decades as happened with both Cosby and Weinstein, but again it's just talk.

“In that sense Weinstein is both a good and a bad example,” Anna Kirkland, a professor of women’s studies at the University of Michigan says in an interview. “He shows how powerful men can get away with this when they're enabled, literally having assistants deliver women and it was widely known for years.”

Alaina Love, a former senior level HR executive, knows Weinstein’s behavior is not unique. “I’ve run into more than a few cases of sexual harassment, where it became clear to me that other men in the organization had direct knowledge or at least a healthy suspicion about a male colleague’s inappropriate behavior.”

“Male colleagues who hear about abuse should make it clear that they believe the woman and help protect her from retaliation… like being gossiped about and ridiculed,” says Kirkland, a member of the National Academies panel studying the effects of sexual harassment in academia. “It's so much not that men need to be taught special skills and ways of talking to avoid accusation; it's that sexual harassment comes from gender inequality and cultures that support sexism.”

At the same time, noted Kirkland, “women rely on mentoring and work relationships with men, and the last thing we want is for genuinely collaborative relationships to suffer because fears about sexual harassment keep good people at a distance from each other.”